Pruning

Photo Courtesy of this link

These last few months have been a season of "pruning."  I don't know why I continue to be amazed that whenever I try to really surrender, to really remove from myself everything that is not pleasing to or of God, that God does nothing less than swoop in and start pruning.  Like a master gardener finally given access to an over-grown garden and a pair of pruning shears, He takes to my soul and therefore the rest of my life, with gusto.  Its also amazing (though it shouldn't be) that even what could be seen as the smallest of things take on the greatest significance when being pruned by the Master. Equally amazing is how I seem to fail so miserably at just letting myself be molded. Letting myself be the overgrown shrub in need of attention. I suppose this is where humility comes in.  In a way this is also one of the many things God was teaching me. Its easy to want to be the rosebush. To want to be the prize of the garden show.  (Is the metaphor getting tiresome yet?)  But God isn't asking us to be those things. "Be perfect, just as our Heavenly Father is perfect" doesn't imply that we have already achieved perfection.  It implies that we have to strive for it.  Christ didn't come for the perfect people.  He came for you and me and the rest of sinful humanity.  That's why we need to be pruned.

With Lent upon us I can't help but be thankful for this unexpected but much needed season of refining.  It reminds me that Lent isn't about what we are giving up.  Its about making room for what we have to gain.  Lent is about de-cluttering ourselves so we have room for Christ to dwell within us more deeply, more fully, more freely.  Mortifications, sacrifices, they are supposed to be making room for Him.  This isn't a loss.  This is an immeasurable gain.  "For my yoke is easy and my burden light."  These words are ever true, even if they present a paradox.  Have you ever felt this lightness? This easy yoke?  Anyone even tacitly striving for holiness knows that following Our Lord is not easy.  Yet, when He asks us to do the seemingly impossible and we Trust Him enough to follow, the resulting lightness of spirit, the interior joy that follows is without words. The absolute peace that dwells within - peace that cannot be shaken by external storms or events.  It is not Christ who piles on the heavy burdens. We do that to ourselves when we do not make enough room for Christ to carry those burdens with us.
Imagine a long wooden beam across your shoulders.  You are carrying it - heavy, weighed down.  Next to you on either side are all the things you are attached to, all the things that clutter up your life: unhealthy relationships, mass media, love of money, greed, vanity, gossip, idleness, pride, laziness, a desire to have "things" you don't really need, compulsions, tendencies towards uncharitable words or thoughts...the list goes on.  You're surrounded!  Now, what if you were to start to remove some of these walking companions?  What if you were to purge from your life unhealthy relationships? Vain attachments? Laziness?  As these things begin to fall away from you, you suddenly have more room next to you.  Who do you think steps in to help carry your load?  The Master.

But you are still dragging along with you some of those clinging attachments, some of those disordered tendencies.  Christ can only carry the edge of the beam and it still feels a bit heavy.  What to do?  Yes, detach yourself some more.  The more you are able to detach yourself from the things of this world the more room you make for Christ to come in and take your burden, until you and He are so close that you can't even feel the weight of the beam anymore.  The beam is still there, but you are no longer carrying the weight of it; because you have made room for The Master.

This is what Lent does for us.  It is what seasons of pruning do for us.  It is what we are called to over and over again.  Living a life fixed on Heaven is living a life of perseverance. We must constantly allow ourselves to be worked on, to be pruned.  Constantly checking those "walking companions" and making sure we make room for the Only Companion that matters.

I leave you with these musings on the eve of Shrove Tuesday as we all prepare for a season of expectant sacrifice.  I pray that you will enter this Lent with the thought of what it is you are about to gain, and not what you are about lose.

And as an aside, thank you for reading.  Writing helps me to make sense of things. It helps me to process and to articulate what my heart is trying to tell my head.  It humbles me that others would want to read these bumbling attempts of mine to articulate the awesomeness of the love of our God and the privilege that it is to serve Him.

Peace!

Lent and Little Ones

Its just me and the little man.  Awake. At 12:14am.  So I guess Lent has officially started.  Since I am awake and musing about what the next 40 days have in store I thought I would muse out loud, well, in cyberprint anyway! 

The kids and I had a few chances to talk about Lent and what its all about today as we ran our errands.  I am excited that the older two are old enough to remember "traditions."  For instance when I reminded them that today was "Fat Tuesday" (Mardi Gras) and the day before Ash Wednesday, my 6 year old immediately got out the "sacrifice jar."  "Mommy, we have to get the rocks!"  He is talking about the small driveway rocks (we have used dried large beans too) that we keep in a big bowl next to the sacrifice jar.  Every time one of the kids makes a sacrifice they get to put a rock in the jar.  On Easter Sunday when they wake up, the jar will be empty of the rocks and full of jelly beans.  Its a great visual reminder of sacrifice and redemption - how God takes our sacrifices, that don't feel good - like rocks - and He turns them into beautiful prayers which obtain Grace, which is good -  sort of like jelly beans - for us! 

The kids also reminded me that we need to make this year's Stations of the Cross.  Every year I print out coloring pages of the Stations.  The kids each get a few to color and then we cut and paste them onto construction paper.  Every night of Lent we pray the Stations together, with the kids taking turns leading.  Its fun to see how their coloring, and their interpretations, change every year.  (I am sure "Punch-less Pilot" will "fly his plane" into Jerusalem again this year, and maybe he will "take martial arts lessons to learn how to punch!")

A big change this is year is that the kids are all (well except for Noah) old enough to give up something and understand why its a good thing to do.   They collectively decided to give up watching "shows." (We don't have a TV but they do have some shows they are allowed to watch on Netflix and on DVDs on the computer).  I am very proud of this Lenten endeavor, and also believe it will greatly benefit them.  I promised that we would make more library trips as a way to ease them into the idea of making this sacrifice.  What is more important to me, though, is that they understand WHY we give things up.   Once again, by explaining it to my kids, I have gotten a glimpse into the pure simplicity and total SENSE that our Faith makes. 

At dinner (pancakes with lots of toppings!) I asked them to tell their Daddy what they were doing for Lent.  They proudly announced they were giving up "shows."  "Why?"  I pressed them.  The older two explained, "Because when we give up things we like its a sacrifice, and giving things up shows God that we love Him more than we love things."  "What else?"  I asked.  "And it also trains our souls and minds to be able to say no, so when there is something bad we have to say no to, we can! "  "Yeah!  It makes a good habit in our souls and minds!"

 I beamed.

See, its not enough if my kids go through the motions but don't grasp the why . Its the why that makes all the difference.  Its the difference between "because Mommy says so" and them wanting to do something because they love God and know He loves them.  That's what Lent comes down to for all of us.  Do we go through the motions or do we seek to allow God to love us?  By removing distractions and bad habits, by practicing penance and abstinence we are opening ourselves more to His Love.  We remove those things in ourselves that prevent His love from reaching us, and that prevent us from even noticing that He loves us.  THAT is what Lent is for - it prepares us for that scandalous, wondrous, LOVE affair called Easter. 

Maybe my kids don't yet grasp the Scandal of the Cross.  Maybe they don't fully understand the utter agony Christ suffered on our behalf.  But they ARE aware of His love for them.  They DO know that something awesome happened on Easter (and it doesn't have to do with a bunny, although I am sure he is coming again this year).  As they get older they will understand more fully, and we will make new traditions.  For now though, I am happy that as we embark on these 40 days, my little ones will be giving it their all and trying their best to fill up that Sacrifice Jar! 

Its not always easy to be on the ball looking for the teachable moments and taking the opportunities to show them God's Love.  But these days, when their characters and consciences are forming, when they are developing habits for the Liturgical Year, are too important to waste.  All too soon they will be grown and have their own Lenten Traditions.  So until then I will be happy to hear more about "Punch-less Pilot" and hear my 4  year old imitate the "weeping women of Jerusalem"  (apparently they say "weep weep weep weep").  And I will secretly watch as they raise their stuffed animals from the dead and crucify half naked G.I Joes.  They are "getting it" and more importantly, in their own way, they are opening their hearts to the Love that pours forth from the Cross.  THAT, my friends, is pretty awesome.

May you all have a Blessed Lenten Season as you look forward to the Joy of Easter.