Advent Lessons from Small Children

"Its the most wonderful time of the year" as the song goes.  The tree is trimmed, the lights are hung, the Manger scene is set up, the candles on the Advent wreath are getting low, and the Jesse tree is getting full.  And then there are the questions, "How many more days?"  "Is it almost Jesus' Birthday?"  "Do you think Santa saw me be kind to my brother?"  "Do you think Santa saw me being mean?"  "How much longer is Advent?"  Ah. Waiting.  That's what this time is about. Waiting and Preparing.  Most of us go overboard with the preparing  (I baked 8 dozen cookies in one afternoon alone! ) and still don't find the time in our harried sprint to Christmas to prepare our hearts.  This is where we can learn from our children.

In our house Advent and the Christmas Season are fodder for a lot of funny stories.  The kids' interpretations on Christmas Carols alone are hilarious!  ("Feliz Mommy Nut" and "Oh Come all he Faith - Lull, Joy for the Tried Elephant" being among this year's favorites)  The children are so excited!  They know Santa is coming, and if you have taught them, they know that Some One else is coming too - Jesus.   Around here the days have been filled with "Advent Adventures" (a video series provided for free by a Homeschooling Family - my kids love it!) and with daily Jesse Tree readings, the O! Antiphons, and preparations for "Baby Jesus' Birthday."   Its taken me until now to really put into perspective the "Christmas Crazies" as I used to call them.  That's because of my children.

Sure, Baby Jesus has taken a few rides on the Polar Express around the tree, and I've had to superglue on the Angel's wings a few times, and repair St. Joseph's hands and the Shepherd's foot, and Mary and Joseph were MIA for 4 days until we found them embedded in the Christmas Tree, and again in the doll house (apparently the stable was too cold), but that is par for the course at this time of year with small ones running around excitedly.  "Why do you think we decorate for Christmas?" I asked my 5 and 6 year old one day.  To my surprise, my 3 year old answered, "Because we're going to have a party!"  "A party?  What party?"  I asked.   "Baby Jesus' Birthday party!"  the 5 year old answered.   Then it really clicked for me.  Perhaps all the decorations and lights and tinsel could be used to help us prepare for Christ's Birth.  Perhaps it didn't just have to be secular trappings of an overly commercialized season.  I nodded slowly.  "When we look at Christmas decorations what do you think we should be reminded about?"  My daughter, who is 6, answered, "We can remember to get ready for Jesus!"  "Right!"  I exclaimed, "the decorations can remind us to get our hearts ready, just like we get our house ready!"  My kids thought this was a great idea, and just like that all the decorations had a brand new context, all the madness and the "getting ready" had a new light shone on them and I could see Advent in a new Paradigm - one in which everything points us to Christ's coming.

As I mused about this I realized that this is so appropriate to the season.  Even the happy snowmen decorating my counter top have now become a means by which we are reminded to prepare our hearts for Emmanuel, the Christ Child.   The Snowmen have been sanctified.   The Santa Claus statues and dolls on the shelf silently remind us to get ready for the upcoming birth of the Savior.  They are St. Nicholas, pointing the way to Christ, not to the toy shop.  How appropriate that even the non-religious decorations of the season have now been "redeemed" - how appropriate and allegorical that is.  Just as God used a Star, a star - one of many stars that no one ever really paid attention to, to guide the Wise Men and silently announce the Birth of the Savior of the World, our Christmas decorations can point us towards His birth too.

Now don't get me wrong, my kids are expecting Santa to come, and have been working hard to that end, but they know Santa comes to bring us presents for Jesus' Birthday to help us celebrate.   They know that Santa only gives you gifts if you have gotten your heart ready for Jesus, and they know that you get your heart ready by making sacrifices and being extra kind to everyone you meet, and everyone in your family.  In this way, Santa remains very much St. Nicholas, again pointing us towards the birth of Christ.

This time of year can seem so harried, so rushed and manic.  I have found myself needing to take a step back and remember that its not supposed to be a mad dash or a sprint until December 25th when we all collapse from exhaustion.  I am thankful that the excitement and innocence of my children brings me back to reality and refocuses me on what is truly important about the season.

When they gaze with wonder at twinkling lights, when they turn off all the house lights so they can see the Advent Wreath and Christmas tree glow, when they look expectantly at their empty stockings...these moments fill me with the joy and true Wonder of the Season.  As we made Christmas cookies this year my children were sure to make the best and biggest ones each for Santa and for Baby Jesus.  Poor Santa is going to have a sugar coma after he ingests the icing and sprinkle-covered masterpieces that are going to be left for him!   The kids decided that Baby Jesus will be too little to eat a cookie but they will leave Him one to see and then they will eat it.  They are also leaving Him special "Gift Papers" with all of their sacrifices and good deeds written on it.  Those get left under the tree for Jesus.  These little touches can be so easily get overlooked, but they teach in a tangible way the reason for Christmas and Who, not What Christmas is about.

Then of course we come back to the waiting.  Anyone who has or has raised small children knows that its really hard to wait when you are in single digits, age-wise.   The impatience of our children and their noisy complaints, willing the days to go faster can give us a glimpse into what Advent is about too - waiting for what C.S. Lewis called the "Grand Miracle."  How impatient the Israelites must have been - waiting for their Savior - and they didn't have nifty Advent calendars or Jesse Trees to help them count down the days!  How impatient Mary must have felt, knowing she was carrying the One Who would save us.  Was she anxious on the road to Bethlehem?  Was she impatient to get there?  How impatient the Wise Men must have felt, following a star and not knowing when it would eventually lead them to the King of Kings.  Did they ever doubt its meaning?  Advent is all about waiting.  Our children's impatience can be a great reminder of the impatience of those who waited long ago - during the first very long "Advent."   How fortunate are we to know that our days of waiting are numbered by 4 candles in the Advent wreath.  How incredible it is that we know the end of the amazing story - the Story of our salvation, a salvation that was given flesh in the Incarnation of Christmas.   When we think of our 4 weeks of waiting compared to the centuries that God's Chosen People had to wait ever since Adam and Eve ate the apple, it doesn't seem like such a long time!   When we think of the tests and tribulations that the Israelites had to endure as God prepared them for their Savior, listening to a few impatient children doesn't seem so terrible.  When we think of the wonder of that Holy Night, and realize that today it is no less Glorious, no less incredible, no less Miraculous than it was more than 2000 years ago, we realize we are blessed indeed.

Baking Cookies

Christmas Crazies!  

It is my Advent wish for you, dear reader, that your children will be a source of joy and give you many moments to reflect on the wonder and awe, the anticipation and excitement of the Birth of the God-Made Man.  Emmanuel, our Savior and King.

Heroic Virtue?

Motherhood requires heroic virtue.  I've heard more than one well respected Catholic thinker/speaker/writer types repeat this mantra.  It usually makes me shudder.  Heroic virtue?  Seriously?  Couldn't God have made things a little easier on us poor schlubs out here?  Not that I am a schlub.  I am really an incredibly attractive mother of 5 who looks the same as I did when I graduated High School - skinny and toned, with hair that would make Jennifer Aniston jealous, immaculately groomed eye brows, eyes that sparkle with a well-rested glow, a wardrobe to put Miss America to shame and an overall demeanor that purrs with peacefulness, calm, control, and quiet intelligence.  Then I wake up.  An I realize that I'm probably closer to schlub material.  Especially on days when I am sleep deprived (which is distressingly often), sick, or my kids are sick, or both.

So heroic virtue, huh?  See, when I think of this phrase I immediately picture the young Virgin Martyrs - St. Maria Goretti, St. Philomena, St. Lucy - staring piously and angelically up to Heaven while meeting their mortal demise.  Or I think of St. Francis jumping into a thorn bush to beat back his own concupiscence.  Or John de Brebeuf, Isaac Jogues and the other North American Missionary Martyrs who met horrible tortured deaths - and some with great humor!  To me these are the men and women of Heroic Virtue, not little ol' schlubby me who can barely make it through some days without wishing I could have a toddler-style meltdown of my own.  And yet, I am called to heroic virtue.  We are called to heroic virtue.

So what is it exactly?  And how do I get it?  Can I just order up some 'heroic virtue' during prayer time and hope for the best?  Unfortunately it has been my experience that you just don't "get it" (unless you are one of the rare and blessed people to have a blinding"Saul-to-Paul" moment of extreme Grace).  Nope, for most of us schlubs out here in Mommyland Heroic Virtue is cultivated and practiced.  That means when your first little blessing is born you get extra Mommy Grace, and then well, you grow and tone your virtue muscles much like you tone those never-been-used-before-muscles that hold up the baby's head while he or she rests in your arms for hours because you're afraid to put him or her down.  Virtue is a "good spiritual habit" and just like other good habits its learned.  This is good news for those of us who shudder at the sound of it - we can achieve Heroic Virtue!  The not so good news is that its not exactly going to be a piece of cake.  Then again, nothing heroic ever is.

Maybe, though, this can give us a different perspective during those hard to handle Mommy times.  Chances are you more heroic than you think!  What else but heroic is calmly walking and bouncing a colicky newborn for 3 or 4 hours?  What else but heroic is staying up all night with a feverish child, and then handling the next day like you aren't completely sleep deprived?  What else but heroic is getting very little sleep for months on end, and not drinking caffeine because your need-to-eat-every-2-hours baby can't handle it?  What else but heroic is driving all over town bringing your kids to practices and rehearsals, lessons, and classes, and still having a hot meal for them at dinner time?  What else but heroic is welcoming a new life into your family, even though the world tells you to stop at 2 kids?  What else but heroic is listening to the entire  Disney Princess Sing Along CD for the 7th time in a row instead of the news in the car?  What else but heroic is the task of making sure Santa Claus makes it your house this year, and the Easter Bunny doesn't miss your door?  What else but heroic is coming home from date night 2 hours early because little "Johnny" had a nightmare and needs a Mommy hug?  What else but heroic is watching PG movies and TV shows (pretty hard to do these days) even after the kids go to bed because you know that your kids will try to listen or get a peak at the screen?  What else but heroic is reading that same book at bedtime for 4 months in a row, with the same amount of enthusiasm as the first time you read it?  What else but heroic is tackling piles of laundry daily, so your kids have clean clothes to wear?  What else but truly heroic is forming your children's consciences, helping them to become the men and women God created them to be?

You maybe thinking, but this is just what us moms do.  Well, yes, it is, but doing those things (and really I just scratched the surface) with love in your heart, a smile on your face, and without bitterness or resentment - that, dear friend, is heroic.

For years the Church recognized very few married men and women as Saints, but during the Pontificate of Pope John Paul II, more lay Saints were canonized than in much of recent Church history.  Pope John Paul II wanted to give us Saintly examples of men and women just like us who exercised "Heroic Virtue" in every day life.  (For a list of all those who were Canonized under John Paul II, and their biographies, see http://www.vatican.va/news_services/liturgy/saints/index_saints_en.html )

Dear friend, you are a mother, and that means you are called to be a hero.  You have been given the tremendous task of raising up Children of the Light.  You have been given the Grace from the Father of of All to exercise Heroic Virtue in your every day family life.  It is my prayer that you will draw strength from the knowledge that you can and do have this saintly calling.  Your children and the world need your strength, patience, courage, modesty, perseverance, temperance, prudence, justice, faith, hope, and love.  This Advent may you grow in God's love and Grace so that you may truly embrace your heroic calling.  God Bless you, Mom!

**I would like to dedicate this post to all the beautiful, heroic women whom I have been blessed to have encountered in my life.  Most notably my own mother, my mother-in-law, my dear friends, and the women of the Confraternity of Christian Mothers and Holy Family Home Schoolers of Sacred Heart, Winchester.  Your examples touch the lives of more than just your children, and I am privileged to know you.