I always wanted to be a Missionary. Now that I have four children at home, seven in Heaven, I realize that my Mission Field is my backyard and my family and I are a testimony to Life!! Here I recount my musings, my stories, thoughts, and adventures as a Mommy and as a Missionary helping to build the Culture of Life! Won't you join me?

Friday, December 23, 2011

Waiting and Hoping

I'm sitting here with a jumble of thoughts.  Its been a while since I have been able to post and I am happy to do so once again.  Really there are so many things that I could talk about but I think for now I will settle on my Advent Musings, as Christmas is a few days away and I have much on my heart and mind.

Since my last post this summer a lot has happened.  I started working for  Presidential Campaign, ended up working for a different one, got pregnant, delivered a tiny baby boy after he had ceased to have a heartbeat at 13 weeks, suffered very serious complications, faced death no less than three times in 10 days, and discovered how truly blessed I am.

Sure we are still broke, we are constantly too low on fire wood to heat the house, and I am still recovering and this is going to be our leanest Christmas yet, but I know I am blessed, and I need to count those blessings. 



This last week of Advent has seemed purely purgatorial for so many people who are dear to me.  I am not exaggerating!!  Its as if God decided to allow an awful lot of suffering before He brings His Peace and Mercy and Christmas. 

This makes me ponder what it must have been like to have lived before the first Christmas.  What must it have been like to have been waiting for a Savior and not know when He would come?  What must it have been like to have been in captivity, in slavery, wandering a desert, living under a brutal king, all the while WAITING for the One who was to come?

How lucky we are that we KNOW there is a Christmas.  We KNOW that our Savior came, and that He comes anew at Christmas time.  What Hope we have because of this knowledge, and how blessed that we can have that Hope.  A secure Hope. 

Isn't that what Christmas is about?  Hope.  Real hope.  A tiny baby came to save us all.  God loved us so much that He allowed Himself to become man, and God the Father gave us His only Son, knowing He would suffer.  For us.  That is the truest form of love there is. The Love of God for His Son and for us - His children.  That should give us enormous Hope for whatever we are facing - and I know so many are facing so much. 

This end of Advent leaves me waiting for good news from several hospitals where family and friends are spending the Holiday this year.  It leaves me hoping doctors appointments, breathing treatments, and surgeries are successful.  It leaves me waiting.  And hoping.  And knowing that on Sunday we will celebrate the reality that Christ came.  He came whether we were ready or not.  He came in the middle of every day life.  He came quietly and changed the world.  He came for you and for me.  And He will never abandon us.

So this last week of Advent I anticipate and I wait and I Hope.  Really, when you think about it, that just about sums up Advent.

Merry Christmas, everyone.