An Open Letter to The Abortion Industry: What Do you MEAN when you say CHOICE? (reposted from Daughters of the Heavenly King)

To Whom It May Concern in the Abortion Industry, and to the Women Who Feel They Have No Choice but to Become Their Latest Customers,

I am writing this letter not be one of those "snarky pro-lifers" you worry about.  I have a legitimate question: Just What exactly do you mean when you say choice?  I am sure that some of you in the abortion industry truly want to help women.  This is noble and good.  I applaud you for that desire.  But does counseling abortion, providing abortion, pushing abortion really help women?  Does it really give them a choice?  I have to say no.  Most women choose abortion because they have been led to believe that the baby they are carrying is 'just tissue,' 'can't feel pain,' 'isn't viable outside the womb,' and 'isn't a baby yet.'  They are not told the truth- that by 5 weeks the "fetus" has a heart that is beating, that by the time of 8 and 9 weeks (the time most abortions occur) that 'tissue' has fingers, toes, and even a tongue.  He or she can feel pain.  If women who are counseled to have an abortion do not know who exactly it is that they are killing, how is that a choice?  Why are women not shown who it is that they are choosing to kill?  After seeing an ultrasound of their baby more than 80% of women choose NOT to abort.  If they are not shown the Truth, they never really have that choice, do they? Many women (especially low-income, and African-American Women living in cities) do not know they have a choice not to abort if they find themselves unexpectedly pregnant.  How is THAT a choice at all?  Is it truly a coincidence that more abortion facilities are located in cities - most especially in or near low-income and "minority" communities - than anywhere else?  I think not.  Is it a coincidence that as far back as 1991 African-American Women made up 42% of Planned Parenthood's Customer base - even though they only comprised about 19% of the total population of the US?  Is that a choice or is that just because those women are good for business?

Is it really a choice when women who are counseled to receive abortions do not understand that they face very serious risks and life changing after effects?  Are they told that after about 5 to 10 years they will experience mental anguish, depression, even flashbacks, deep regret, and guilt?  Is it explained to them that women who have had abortions are more at risk for suicide and debilitating depression?  Would any truly informed woman choose to put herself through that?  (For more on this topic and to hear testimonies from women who regret their abortions see http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/).

Is it really a choice when a woman has no idea how her body was made to work - when she has been told her whole life that her fertility is dangerous and that she has to control it artificially and that this will make free?  When those contraceptives fail, and she finds herself pregnant, how will this woman know she has a choice not to abort?  Not to do more to her body - that beautiful body, which she doesn't understand and has never been taught to respect?  Is that really a choice?

If a woman doesn't know any better, if she has never been told the TRUTH about the alternatives she has for herself and her pre-born baby, how is THAT a choice?

I ask you again, just what DO you mean when you say CHOICE?

I could end this letter here, but for the sake of those women who find themselves confused and pregnant, scared and vulnerable, not sure that they have a CHOICE, who may chance upon this letter, I want to tell then that they DO have true choices - and these real choices do not come at the expense of their health, or the lives of their pre-born babies.

Woman have the choice to learn about their bodies and how they are beautifully made.  Women do not need contraceptives, nor do they need abortion to be truly free.  I want to tell them that their bodies are beautiful!  They are made to amazingly - and it is possible to learn about your body, work with it, and respect it!  (for websites with this information see the footnotes to this letter).

I want women to know that abortion ALWAYS harms.  ALWAYS.  It harms the women who undergo the procedure or take the pill.  It kills a life.  This life has a heartbeat, a brain and feelings.  This life can feel pain and sense danger.  This life tries to get away from the tools of the abortionist!  This life has no voice - and this life, this child, depends upon YOU, his mother for protection.  This child is not given a choice.  If YOU had to choose between life and being murdered, what would YOU choose?  Why won't you choose the same for the life you carry?

If you cannot parent a child right now, that is OK! There are SO MANY wonderful families who cannot have children of their own who are praying for a generous heart to place a child in their care.  Do not be afraid of the "system."  Your child does not need to go through the foster care system and become a ward of the state forever!  This is largely a myth that you have been led to believe - a myth that makes you feel like adoption is an evil choice.  This is not so!  Your baby deserves a loving home, and if you are a brave and courageous women, willing to give your child a chance at LIFE there are many people who will help you and guide you - at no cost to you - as you find a loving family for your baby.  There are MANY kinds of adoption that give you as much or as little participation in your child's life as you wish.  (again see the footnotes for more resources on this).

Perhaps you do not feel well, perhaps you need support and someone who understands what you are going through.  You will NEVER find that kind of support from an agency that you have to PAY.  No matter what they say, if they ask for money - whether it is for abortion, contraception, or even counseling - they WILL NOT give you the kind of support you need.  Do not be afraid though - there are MANY other women, men and organizations who DO want to help  you.  They want to be your friend, they want to assist you, and they will NEVER ask you for money.  They want to love you!  If you need this kind of support and unconditional love simply call 1(877) 77BIRTH or check out http://www.birthmothers.org/. There are also many community based organizations and church groups who want to help!  Do not be embarrassed, do not be afraid - if you call them YOU will make their day!

Maybe you find yourself confronted with the wrenching decision of having an abortion or being kicked out of your home.  This is a terribly scary situation.  This can make you feel like you have no choice.  YOU DO.  There are people who want to help you - people who have homes for you and places for you to stay.  People who want to see you through this hard time and see you and your child succeed at life!  Many of these places are local and they are all over the country.  I will link to some of them here and even if you live outside of their area they have resources and information about similar organizations that are closer to you.  (http://goodcounselhomes.org/,  http://projectgabriel.net/,  http://www.gabrielproject.com/help.htm).

My dear reader, whether you are in the Abortion Industry or considering an abortion for yourself, you NEED to know that Choice should not simply equal Abortion.  All too often I fear that when someone says they are "pro-choice" all they really mean is "pro-abortion."  Women deserve better than that, and so do the tiny humans that are never given a choice at life.

So, I ask you again, What do you MEAN when you say CHOICE?

Sincerely,

Laura Ricketts

Additional Resources for Women who want a REAL Choice:

Learning About Your Body:

http://www.fwhc.org/birth-control/fam.htm

http://www.nfpandmore.org/

http://ccli.org/

Adoption:

http://www.adoptionnetwork.com/?GCID=S13083x802&KEYWORD=%7BAdoption%7D&gclid=CPGbo7PJy6YCFUGo4Aodmh2RHg

http://christianadopt.org/

http://www.bethany.org/

http://www.catholiccharitiesusa.org/Page.aspx?pid=1670

Of Babies and Blessings

This had been a Christmas Season of Blessings and Lessons.  Heartache and Peace.  Nothing went as planned, but why should that surprise us?  I doubt that had Mary and Joseph been able to plan they would have elected to travel by donkey to a small town while Mary was 9 months pregnant just to appease some ego-centric Roman demi-god.

"'For your thoughts are not My thoughts, neither are your ways, My ways," says the Lord"(Isaiah 55"8).

"For I know well the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "Plans to give you a future full of hope.  When you call Me, When you go to pray to me, I will listen to you.  When you look for me, you will find me.  When you seek me with all your heart, you will find me," says the Lord" (Jeremiah 29:11-14).

These words revealed to the prophets ages ago are still so relevant to us today.  God is so hard to understand sometimes, and yet, He blesses us.  He takes care of us.  He comforts us.  He gives us Joy.   Sometimes that Joy comes wrapped up in a bundle of blankets with a button nose and tiny little mouth and eyes.  Sometimes that Joy comes from surrendering to God and giving Him a new soul for Heaven.

This Christmas has given me so much to ponder.  The Advent Season began with my husband and I worried that Santa wouldn't be able to afford Christmas.  Yet, we had Faith and prayed that God would provide us what we would need to let our children have a happy Christmas.  We got so much more than that.  God continues to outdo Himself in generosity and this year He used so many people in our lives to touch us with His love and His Goodness.  So many people have blessed us with their generosity this Christmas - from a dear friend and "anonymous benefactor" who sent us Christmas gifts, beautifully wrapped for Christmas Day - all without us knowing about it! - to family members who unexpectedly sent Christmas money - to neighbors who gave away toys that looked like new - we had more than we ever dreamed of for the kids on Christmas Day.

We felt so incredibly humbled.  So undeserving.  What had we done?   Yet, isn't that the crux of Christmas?   We didn't DO anything to make God send us our Savior.  In fact the only thing we had done is sin. Turn away from Him, and yet He sent His only Son - His Gift to us - so that we might share Eternal Life with Him.  What a gift!  What Love!

This Christmas message was brought home to me in such a real way this year.  Just before Christmas my husband and I found ourselves overjoyed at the reality of a new little life.  I was pregnant!  We knew the kids would be so excited and waited until Christmas to tell them.  Seeing the pure Joy on their faces taught me more than anything what is truly important.  The things we so often value - the presents and "stuff" we accrue for ourselves on Christmas pale in comparison to the truly miraculous gift of a new life - a new soul destined to live for Eternity.   I pondered this for some time on Christmas and the days after.  I felt so blessed to have this new paradigm in which to see my pregnancy.  For the first time I wasn't afraid of what others might think of the fact that I was pregnant again.  I wasn't looking forward to the morning sickness or labor, but I could not shake the conviction that despite what society, or even well-intentioned but confused passersby might think about my largish family, I was blessed.  Babies are pure blessing.  They aren't a spread sheet - measuring the pros and cons, costs and benefits. They are a gift, pure and simple.

Imagine the sadness that came to our family on New Years Day when I, after a long day at the Emergency Room, learned that we were never to hold this little life.  Never to meet him.   He had gone Home to be with the One who created him.  The sadness came crashing in on me as I went to the Grave of our stillborn daughter, Claire, who has been buried there since the end of August.  I sat there in the cold and cried.  I cried for her and I cried for my son who was with us for such a short time.  I cried for my children at home, who I felt were deprived of another sibling to love.  I cried for myself, my arms longing to hold a little squirmy bundle of Joy.  Then my heart quieted.  Peace entered.  I dried my tears and asked my Heavenly Saints - my children - to pray for me.  I told them I loved them.  I asked God to help me understand.  Then I heard it.  Not a voice, but a whisper, spoken to my heart.  "Thank you."

As I drove home I pondered over this "thank you."  For what?  I kept asking myself.   When I got home I pushed it aside as my husband and I had to break the news to our children.  I hardly heard myself as I told them that "Baby Bubbles" went to be with Claire.  I told them that we named him Francis Talbot, because of a dream I had.  Their sad faces nearly broke my heart again.  My daughter, who is my oldest child at home, cried and told me how sad she was.  Then she stopped crying and said, "Well, now Claire has somebody to play with.  That is special."  She proceeded to talk to Baby Francis and tell him that she loved him.  How silly I felt thinking that they were deprived of siblings to love.  They love their heavenly sister and brother! Then my daughter looked at me and said, "Well, now I know what I am asking for on my birthday!  A new baby!"  I smiled at her innocence, at her beautiful understanding of life and death.

It wasn't until I received an email from a dear friend that I really thought about what my daughter had said.  My friend said to me that I had given Claire a sibling to be with her.  They would be together glorifying God, watching over our family, and waiting for us to meet them in Heaven.  Then it hit me.  The "thank you" whispered to my heart, what I had told my children, what my daughter said to me, echoed in the email from my friend.

God had indeed given me a very special gift this Christmas.  He truly taught me to Love as He Loves,  He gave me the gift of a life, and asked for that gift back.  This Christmas God allowed me to give a gift to Heaven.  What a blessed peace this realization gave me.  What a gift.  

I still miss my little Francis, just as I miss my baby Claire.  Yet I have such a sense of peace, that I  know I am blessed.  Many people would look at my little family this Christmas and shake their heads in pity - in the span of 2 weeks our only car broke down and died, the flu went through our family, all our Christmas plans were thwarted, we nearly hit the red in the bank account, still are without a car, and then we lost baby Francis.   Yet all I feel is blessed.  All I feel is Peace.

Little Francis Talbot came to us, and brought with him Peace.  In his short time with us, and through his death he taught us a lesson about Christmas, about God's love, and about Life that is more important than   the little worries and inconveniences that we face.  It may sound absurd to those without Faith, but despite the trials and sadness that have confronted us this Christmas, I am thankful.  I am thankful for the unexpected, and thankful for the beautiful gift of Francis Talbot's life.  I am thankful, and I am blessed.